Defending my Degree

Uga the Bulldog came by today, demanding proof of my Political Science degree.
Uga: Claire Taylor, graduate of the University of Georgia, I am here to quiz you on polysci terms and facts to attest that you won't embarrass the School of Public and International Affairs at our fine institution.
Me: Yessir.
Uga: (sternly) You are aware this quiz would NOT be necessary if you contributed to the Alumni Association or if you actually worked in your field?
Me: (contrite) Yessir. But I like to eat.
Uga: (nods, slobbering on the carpet) I understand. Too bad. Now, who are your congressional representatives?
Me: (confidently) Jared Polis in the House, Cory Gardner and Michael Bennet in the Senate.
Uga: (eyeing my leg) Correct. And what case is in the Supreme Court right now that may affect Colorado?
Me: (nervously) Nebraska and Oklahoma v. Colorado over NE and OK's inability of their executive branch to enforce their own states' laws.
Uga: (sidling up to my shin) Inflammatory, but I'll allow it. Now, what is a "first past the post" system?
Me: (trying to subtly back away) A voting system in which the person with the most votes wins, as opposed to proportional representation that allows for more than one winner. It contributes to the continuation of a two-party system, which when combined with a possible leader of the opposing party, purposefully leads to gridlock, weakening the federal system, a design put into place by people victimized by feudal lords over hundreds of years.
Uga: (voice lowering, front paws now on my thigh) You really know your stuff, girly. Now for the final question: What is a caucus?
Me: (grabbing a newspaper) DOWN! DOWN! (smacking that damn dog and avoiding the one question I didn't know the answer to)
Uga: (embarrassed) Ah, ok. No worries. Gotta go. Keep the degree.
Me: (relieved) Ok. Thanks.
***No dog was actually abused in this exchange ***

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